


just stay.

by hannuhhh3



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Gay Keith (Voltron), M/M, Post-Voltron: Legendary Defender Season/Series 07, Soft Keith (Voltron), Soft Keith/Lance (Voltron), Voltron: Legendary Defender Season/Series 07 Fix-It, take this entirely self-indulgent sappiness and go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-13 14:53:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17490020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannuhhh3/pseuds/hannuhhh3
Summary: "maybe you should have just stayed."post s7 where lance deals with the aftermath of the void.(kick in our hearts)





	just stay.

“maybe you should have just stayed away.”

there are some truths to these words, lance thinks.

he thinks that if keith had just completely isolated himself from the garrison and traveled across the world instead of staying in that shack in the desert, he would have never reunited with lance.

it would have been better that way.

he thinks that if keith had just stayed with the blade, the pain of rejection and loss would have ebbed away eventually, and he would be okay.

he would have been okay.

he thinks that if keith had just gotten stranded in the quantum abyss, he would have never been able to see keith again, and it would have been fine.

it would have been fine.

it would have been _just fine_ — _lance_ would have been just fine—because he would never have to go through the inevitable pain of losing keith for the umpteenth time.

lance doesn’t have a count because he’s always losing keith.

keith is always too distant—he leaves every time lance gets too close—and he’s always making too close calls—how many times has he taken a hit for lance?—and he’s always hard to read.

how much did he really care about lance?

if at all?

(he’s always pulling away.)

lance thinks that it would have been easier to love someone else.

if he loved allura, she’d never love him back, but she’d always be there to support him.

if he loved hunk, hunk would never leave him, because they’re best friends and hunk would never do that to him.

hell, if he’d even loved _lotor_ —lotor was an ass, but at least his diabolically evil personality would have been the ultimate, unavoidable end. 

but with keith, he never knows.

keith is always coming and going, intimate smiles one second and angry shouts the next.

though keith is a little more level-headed now, after his time in the quantum abyss. a little more calm, rational—mature, leader-like.

(“cooler, more grizzled older brother” has some truth to it, too, lance also thinks, but he tries to think about this least, because it makes the first truth ache a little bit more.)

somehow it makes him more unsettling.

lance knows it’s because it’s always “the calm before the storm” with keith. keith is always push-and-pull, hesitant in his steps, even though he’s always sure on the field.

he’d make for a terrible dancing partner.

(lance does not want to think about keith as a dancing partner.)

keith is more at peace now, but lance knows that it won’t be long before he’s gone again.

just like he always is.

but when lance is feeling a little more pitiful than usual, a little more afraid, a little more hopeful, he thinks another thought.

_maybe you should have just—_

he never dares to say it—no, he doesn’t have the courage; keith will just run away again—and tries to settle although his insides are evermore restless.

keith is a little more level-headed now, after his time in the quantum abyss.

so he doesn’t anticipate the argument that one day boils between them.

he’s at war with himself, always steaming over the little truths that he has let slip out (should have just stayed away) and those he has left unsaid (should have just _stayed_ —).

he’s irritated and it shows as he steps into the kitchen to grab a bite of anything that isn’t food goo. it’s like a record player on repeat in his mind, like the same elvis vinyl his _abuelo_ played everyday, nonstop all afternoon—should have just stayed away, should have been _me_ —when keith steps into the room, sweaty and disheveled like he’d just been training.

keith smirks as lance closes the fridge, a bowl of one of hunk’s concoctions in hand. keith is leaning against the counter beside the fridge, looking effortlessly beautiful as always, and it only annoys lance more.

“stuck on a math problem or something?”

keith’s tone is merely teasing, but it gets lance worked up anyway.

(a hand on his shoulder, “leave the math to pidge—”)

lance sighs. “just shut up, keith.” he keeps his glare on the fridge.

the other boy frowns. “lance, you know i was just kidding—”

“i know,” he snaps. “just leave it.”

keith reaches toward him as he’s crouched in front of the closed door. “dude, what’s up with you? are you—”

lance abruptly stands up, and keith’s hand falters. “i’m fine, keith. i told you to just leave it.”

he bites out the words rather than says them, and keith’s concerned expression turns to a frustrated scowl.

“what’s your problem? i was just trying to talk and, i don’t know, be a good friend? catch up? even though i was only in the abyss for a few months to you, it was literal years to me. i was just trying to—”

“don’t bother.” lance tries not to dwell on the fact that keith was being so open to him. it’s too risky, and he’s already tired. he knows all he has to do is apologize later, give some bullshit excuse and fake the same smile that he knows keith sees through but doesn't comment on, and it'll pass, like it always does.

lance begins to walk out of the kitchen, not sparing a single glance at keith. he knows that if he does, he’ll explode.

but keith—stubborn, hard-headed, persistent, ever paradoxical, ever the wrecking ball to lance’s resolve—calls out behind him, just as the kitchen door whirs open and lance is about to cross the threshold.

“and why not?”

lance can’t stop himself.

“because when did you ever?”

lance’s voice is dark, quiet, barely making it past his lips, but he’s said it and he’s at the point of no return.

he just hopes that when keith leaves this time, he won’t come back.

(he just hopes that this time, keith won't leave.)

keith blinks in disbelief, and then suddenly his face is contorted in fury. “lance, what the fuck—”

“then tell me, keith, when did you ever care?” lance’s voice is booming, undertoned with anguish and something a little more, and he spins around to face keith again. “because last i checked, you fucking leave before i get the chance to see.”

keith’s features soften into something a little more akin to regret, and lance can’t hear anything over the sound of his blood rushing in his ears.

“lance—”

“no!” he strides in to stand a few feet away from keith, bowl of food forgotten on the counter. “no! i’m still mad at you! i’m mad because you get expelled and basically just disappear, and the moment i see you again, you don’t even remember me! i’m mad because i poured my soul out to you because i trusted you as our leader, as my _friend_ , and the next thing you know, you’re off to the blade of marmora and i barely ever hear from you. like, ‘gee, that sucks, lance. i’ma dip now.’ the fuck? and then you actually drop off the face of the universe in some quantum abyss—what the fuck is a _quantum abyss_ —and you expect me to just roll with it? as if it’s not like we haven’t seen each other in phoebs! as if—”

lance’s voice cracks for the first time, and keith flinches as if stopping himself from reaching out. the fire doesn’t dim in lance’s eyes, though, even as his voice becomes lower and more hoarse.

“as if it shouldn’t have been me who left the team.”

keith’s voice lilts in a more vulnerable, but also a more resolute, way, his eyes trembling. “lance, don’t say that. you’re as vital to the team as all of us.”

his voice is nearly a whisper, pained even though it isn’t him that has those thoughts constantly swirling inside his mind.

(but then again, he and lance always were that in sync.)

“you’re my right hand man.”

“and where were you when i needed to hear that?” lance’s voice grows in volume once more as betrayal and desperation seep into his words. “i _needed_ you, when hunk and pidge were too busy working on the ship to ask me how i was, when allura and coran were too caught up in dealing with diplomatics to spare me a single glance. when shiro didn’t trust me like you did. i _needed you_ , because the team didn’t need me. and before you cut me off, i know you disagree, okay? and i know that i hate being wrong but—”

lance presses the heels of his palms into his eyes.

“—i would’ve preferred you proving me wrong if it meant that you would’ve stuck around.”

lance doesn’t know what he expects keith to say. he’s scared, like he always is, that even after all he’s said, keith will just leave again. he wouldn’t be surprised, but he’s scared nonetheless, because as his heart would have it, he’s hoping against all past evidence that keith will take pity on him and not run away.

“lance, you’re so _stupid_.”

he wasn’t expecting that.

wasn’t expecting that wateriness in keith’s voice, or the gentleness of the fingers that pull his hands away from his face.

wasn’t expecting to see keith still standing there, utter remorse and fondness and—and—lance _can’t believe it_ —on his face.

“first of all,” keith begins, still holding onto lance’s wrists, thumbs brushing against the inside, “i am the biggest disaster gay out there, which i got from shiro, so i kind of short-circuited when i saw you again when we rescued him. i’m sorry.”

an embarrassed smile quirks itself onto keith’s face, and lance can already feel his anger crumbling.

keith’s grip moves to lance’s hands to squeeze them, violet eyes pointedly cast downward, and lance’s heart contracts.

“secondly, i left the team because i didn’t want you to feel like the ‘extra paladin.’” lance feels keith’s grip tighten as his hair falls to hide his eyes. “you were—are—always so graceful and adaptable and compassionate. you’re the morale of our team, lance, and i hated—i _hate_ that you felt like you were anything less than important. so i decided that joining the blade and letting you realize that you are the best right hand of voltron was the best way to go.

“i never wanted you to feel lonely, lance, i—” keith turns his downward gaze to the side, seemingly conflicted with himself. “i thought you’d be fine without me. i thought our team would benefit a lot more from your literal embodiment of sunshine than from my stupid, rash decisions.”

lance immediately opens his mouth to argue, stuttering to formulate the words to tell him _no, keith, i’d follow you to the ends of the universe_ , which causes keith to finally grin at him. “now you know i felt.”

keith gazes into his eyes, almost as if he's searching for something. (maybe the spark that he remembers so vividly from the first time lance flew blue; how long ago that now seems.) “voltron wouldn’t be voltron without you, lance. i wouldn’t be half the leader—or the person—i am today without you.” lance’s breath catches in his throat when keith reaches a hand up to his cheek, dark eyes suddenly far away and too close at the same time. “i wouldn’t have survived the quantum abyss without the thought of getting back to you.”

lance is positive that he melts on the spot.

all he asked was for keith not to run away.

keith’s brow furrows as he shakes his head. “i’m sorry. i should’ve done— _been_ more—”

but this is more than enough.

keith is more than enough.

“i should’ve—”

“maybe you should’ve just stayed.”

keith blinks, and lance’s smile reminds him of starlight.

he mirrors lance’s expression, and lance feels a deep warmth settle into his bones as he winds his arms around keith.

“i’ll stay as long as you want me,” keith promises.

“well, then i guess forever is looking pretty bright.”

**Author's Note:**

> hope yall enjoyed <3 look forward to more & follow me on tumblr @kkuwonu


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